Mix and Match

Mix and Match

‘Hey, where are you from?’

A simple sentence; the introductory sentence which connects strangers; simple & eloquent; a plain enquiry to know the person you are. But not if you are a third generation Tam-Brahm from Mumbai!

Usually the response to this question is simple, but with my response [or any similar individual who has experienced & undergone this before] this is only the beginning of confusion.

Thus goeth my conversation:

‘Hey, where are you from?’

‘Mumbai’ *Chamatthu Kozhandey Smile*

‘But you don’t seem Maharashtrian?’ *confusion begins*

‘No, I’m not a Maharashtrian. I am a Tamil Brahmin.’ *yet another test of patience*

‘So Chennai?’ *tries to clarify*

‘No, Kerala.’ *adamant & a little bit vain*

‘But you said Tamil Brahmin, how are you from Kerala?’ *more confusion*

‘We are Tamil Brahmins settled in Kerala!!’ *exasperated sigh*

‘So how are you from Mumbai then?’ *romba confused stranger*

*takes a deep breath and begins my standard explanation*

‘Basically I am born and brought up in Mumbai. My grandparents & ancestors prior to them hail from Kerala, but we are Tamil Brahmins.’

*random stranger visibly confused and thinks this is too complicated & gives up*

Identity crisis? Well, one won’t be wrong in assuming that this is what will happen if there are multiple states involved. But for me and people from my generation of Tam Brahms who stay in Mumbai, this is normal! J We take as much pride in being a Mumbaikar as we are a Tamil Brahmin. Luckily we have clarity even when others are confused with regards to our origins.

People say best of both worlds. In our case, we have best of all worlds!

-      We love Maharashtrian Cuisine and vada pav as much as we love Puliyodarai & Idli-Dosai!

-      Our saddi chaapadu is relished with equal fervour as much as a Maharashtrian Thali!

-      We love Puran Poli as much as our Vella Payasam!!!

-      We love our curd rice & narthangai as much as Bakharwadi & Kothimbir Vadi!

-      We love Sachin Tendulkar as much as Ravichandran Ashwin!! (I speak for myself here J)

-      We love Matunga as much as we love Madras! (To those who have been at both places, they are very similar!!)

-      We love dancing to the beats of the Puneri Dhol as much as we love Sivamani’s apic percussion! (We can do our Ganpati Dance to any Dumma-koothu song)

-      We love Tamil cinema as much as we love Bollywood!! (By extension Malayalam movies as well!) (And Bollywood still needs to come up with a match for Kamal & Thalaivaa!!)

-      We love A R Rehman’s tunes as much as Ajay-Atul’s!! (Music Lovers basically!!)

-      We love Marine Drive as much as Marina Beach! (See, even the names are similar!)

-      We love Siddhivinayak & Mahalakshmi as much as Vadapalani or Mylapore kabali kovil! J (#ChamatthuKozhandey)

[I can keep adding various similar themes between both places, but I seem to have made my point and will stop before saying anything blasphemous and being blasted by both!!]

Bottomline: To those who feel we are not in touch with our roots and have lost ourselves in this city of cross-cultures & cosmopolitan society, that is not the case. We love our culture and tradition and are equally proud to be part of other cultures & try our best to enjoy both. Just like milk, sugar & coffee powder come together blending seamlessly to make the divine filter kaapi, we take in best of everything while upholding our roots with pride!!!

Aravind Krishnan

9^th April 2016

Daredevil

Daredevil

The night covers me perfectly like a black shroud,
Like the full moon enveloped behind a massive cloud,
I move swiftly, jumping roof after roof,
Lest my fear betray me, my emotions stay aloof.

I scan the city for criminals, ones who rain evil,
Not knowing I keep watch, always a silent vigil.
I befriend the shadows and the darkness within,
My code spares no-one - petty thief or kingpin!

Yet to safeguard my close ones, I have covered my face,
I move in a flash, I scurry in a haste pace.
My actions, so unlike my demeanour, speak louder than my words,
I have been known to wield my silence like a mighty sword.

I fight my inner demons, and my battles have left me scarred,
Some I fail to remember, others that have simply been marred.
Yet, I will keep on fighting till the end of the night,
The flame will never diminish, I will continue to do what's Right!

I have spilt my blood so many times, I have simply lost count
I have given this city everything, more than an infinite amount.
Working ceaselessly, hoping whenever I can without despair,
To bringing justice to the needful, everytime, everywhere! 

I carry the weight of the world, be it one, or a pack,
I fight for my city, bearing others on my back. 
The red they call me, others simply the devil,
These i pay no heed, i continue working my marvel.

My code of ethics isn't flawless, I have lost more than I have won,
Because i will simply not kill for the sake of it, not even once!
I have a light inside me, a small pulse that flares,
A soundless sound, that nothing can overbear.

Some say I'm a hero, some think I'm not worthy to be one,
Others believe I'm evil, they see me as The devil's son.
All this I simply ignore, I choose my own battles,
For always a silent guardian, my city do I effectively handle!

- Aravind K
28.03.2016

I'll Walk Away

I'll Walk Away.....

I'll walk away, into the dark
Before you even know,
I'll begone forever, from your side,
I'll simply, just, let go.

I'll walk away, a silent shadow,
Leaving our breaths separate.
I'll leave nothing back, just my footsteps,
Leaving you alone to your Fate.

I'll walk away, no longer knowing what to do,
Drowning in the dark.
I'll turn my back for the final time,
Overwhelmed by my madness stark.

I'll walk away and I'll not even care,
I'll not remember the past.
I'll go my own way, wherever it takes,
Knowing not how much will this pain last.

I'll walk away, this can no longer be,
I have no more reason to stay.
I have nothing to offer and nothing to give,
When I walk out of your life today.

So when I walk away, please don't follow,
And turn your love into hate.
I'll be long gone by this time, tommorrow,
It's not destiny, only my cruel Fate.

I'm not doing this to break your heart,
It's just that I can no longer stay.
I can't pretend to love you, I can't play that part,
All the whites have now turned to grey.

I have had enough, I have nothing to say,
I just have a final plea,
Don't say a word, just let me go,
Turn your love into hate and set us both free.

- Aravind K.
18.09.2014

Perfectly Alone

Perfectly Alone

I was all on my own when I got the news

That you had set out on a never-returning cruise,

Without pausing to think, I set out behind,

Cause you were always running in my mind.

My heart hammered a drum roll within my chest,

Because you were leaving forever from our cozy nest,

I won’t, I couldn’t let this happen, I thought,

Cause in my life, unending happiness you had brought.

I pursued you in a frenzy, riding at top speed,

Cause last was the hour and great was the need,

I reached the airport to arrive just in time,

But alas, it was not as I thought, it was another sad rhyme.

You had taken to the skies, even as I came to you,

I stood shell-shocked, this couldn’t be true,

You had slipped through my fingers like sand, forever gone,

I was suddenly doused in darkness, all forlorn.

The first time I saw you, you took my breath away,

Now, in every step I must hopelessly sway,
I was now all alone, in this huge and wide world,

Past memories of you, in my head, swirled.

You live in my heart, yet you don’t know its state,

We both were separated cruelly by Fate,

Without you, how do I keep the sadness away,
Without you, life isn’t worth living even one day.

I now have nothing to do, and nowhere to be,
Fate, has a cruel sense of Irony - it set me free,

I am now perfectly all right, perfectly alone,

I now reside in the dark side which Life has shown.

I have now healed; I am both perfect and alone,

I am fit and fine even with my heart badly torn.

As I look back over it now, it still seems wrong,

But this has only made my love even more strong.

I belong to no one, and no one belongs to me,

Life slowly ebbs on, a lurid fantasy.

I am now all on my own,

Perfectly lonely, and perfectly alone.

-

Aravind K

28.04.2012

How do Tam-Brahm's Marry? - One of Life's EPIC experiences

How do Tam-Brahm's Marry?
- One of Life's EPIC experiences

Its been a very long time since I posted something on my blog-- with a mundane routine and a mechanical life, managing time goes for a toss! If there's time, then there is no energy, and vice-versa: just something I have observed!

The topic of marriage is very interesting (life-changing and all that!!) - and the prospect of writing about it without having experienced it is akin to valiantly encountering a tiger in one's imagination vs. actually facing it!!! My sister's wedding is to be held soon - it got me wondering about the process as a whole - Arranged Marriage. And that too, a Tam-Brahm arranged marriage!!

To begin with, there's the popular phrase - 'All Marriages are fixed in heaven' [for which one pays heavily down here I believe ;)]. However, as a Tam-Brahm, I take pride in saying we like to challenge such beliefs and boldly take risks without due consideration! We (or rather the aunties in the family, or even a distant one at that, who believe they are solely appointed for the noble purpose of uniting two souls together) forge strong bonds between two individuals (who never knew the other person existed!) in Life's noble and prime institution of marriage.


Primarily, Tam-Brahm is a cool abbreviation for 'Tamil Brahmin). There are basically two sects::


1- IYER (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iyer)


and 2 - IYENGAR (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iyengar)

The Methodology

I. The online way

This is done through matrimonial sites. These websites have hope for all – be it a divorcee or a single parent or a normal unmarried person  .The concept really revolutionized and capitalized on the arranged marriages scene here . It’s really popular now because it works…  And this is how :

1. Putting up the girls’ profile and “(decent) photos” on matrimonial sites.
2. Scouring through hundreds of profiles to find the perfect boy- Good, fair boy, good family and preferably settled in the US- more points if the boy lives in popular business hubs-  yeah! Silicon valley, Texas and New York  sound great. Earlier only software engineers were in demand, but now thats out-thanks to recession)
3. Once they hit upon a good profile, the parents call and exchange the jaathakams(astrological charts) and see if those match.If yes, then photos are exchanged.
4. If okay, both the families meet. This meeting typically consists of the parents asking questions, judging the family and eating vada,bajji, bonda, kesari.. Oh nowadays its really cool to offer cookies (only eggless mind you  Cuz we are strict vegetarians but  conveniently forget that most of our tam brahm foreign boys love chicken) and diet coke – in case the foreign mapillai isnt too much into our (oily)snacks..
5. Then the girl and guy are asked to go into a separate room to get to know each other (don’t get ideas now) for abt half hour and in some lucky cases an hour or so …
6. If all goes well, the families agree on a date for the engagement and proceed with the other prep. If the girl/guy is not okay, then they just make up random excuses to the other party.. I mean you cant obviously say that the girl is too dark or the boy earns a little too less or that she would like to work (to be an independent working professional- which is at times not acceptable) or that he is going bald … 

II. Maami – Mama  socializing networking

Note: For the benefit of the ignorant – Maami generally refers to married and older Tam Brahm women. Mama – Maami's Husband (In most cases)

Marriage is a Wi-Fi spot (short for Wife Finder!!!) 99.99% maami’s and mama’s attend weddings to look for potential partners for their children or at least for other eligible and single men/women who are looking-to-marry. 

This also probably because a Tam Brahm wedding can possibly have only a majority of Tam Brahms attending – this makes the job easier. They look, they observe, they ask around then strike up a conversation with that poor unassuming girl / guy and then take it forward…

I had a minimum of at least 4 such conversations, though I refused to let them move any further… I have heard that this approach has worked many times… lol… so here goes:

” Hello aunty… yes, am doing good. How about you?…

I work for blah blah organization…(am sure it wouldn’t have mattered)

Am 23 aunty…( rude, very rude)

No not married…( oh! )

Yes, I am single.. no no  am not seeing anyone.

No my parents are not looking out either..(its not a crime right?)

No, not for another couple of years… Am not in a hurry.. (What? REALLY?! yeah, really aunty)

Yes, I want to be independent, on my own.. Work for a bit and stuff .. I ll know when am ready to marry, if at all I want to that is…  ( Scandalizing-  it was too much for her to take – She gave up:)  ) ”

Note to self: This is fun.

Conclusion: I can say that though the process itself may seem surreal and movie-like, the weddings I have witnessed so far were beautiful. I say beautiful because it’s really not easy to get to know new people, understand their ideas and accommodate their preferences in a short span of time. Putting together a big wedding is a herculean task. So many silent compromises are made and so many new bonds are established.Its an effort taken by both the families to make this work for their children. And with so much love and hope going into these efforts, it can never possibly go wrong. Sigh.....




Aravind K

I Wish....

I Wish....

When the nights are too long and my friends are, but, few,

When life is nothing but just a sad song,

I sit by my window and I think of nothing, but you,

Till the darkness inside has gone....

A silent whisper, a silent tear,

Memories of you swirl in my head,

With all my heart I wish you were here,

As I lay down alone on my bed..

I wish you were here so I could forget my past,

I wish you were close to me,

I wish I could make all those beautiful moments last,

I wish we were One till all eternity.

I wish dreams were like wishes; the ones that come true,

'Cause in my dreams I'm always with you,

I wish everything was still like it used to be,

I wish I could hold you in my arms peacefully...

I wish I could better things and right all the wrongs,

Put glowing hope within your heart,

I wish I could sing you your favourite songs,

I wish we could have a fresh start...

I wish I could wipe the tears from the corner of your eyes,

Exchange my happiness for your sorrow,

I wish I could make you happy; paying any price,

I wish I could gift you a better Tomorrow.

I wish I could shift all these grey clouds aside,

To reveal the shining stars above,

I wish you needed me to be by your side,

Once again, to be happily back in love!

I wish I could do something that would put a smile on your face,

I wish to hold you should you want to cry,

I wish I could rewind Time back to those nostalgic days,

When huddled up together, we both would lie..

I wish I could do all these things for you,

I wish you hadn't gone so far away,

Nothing can make me forget, but there's nothing I can do,

I must just think of you and silently pray...

I wish, with me, I could have made you stay

The day, you just get up and leave,

Breaking my heart, leaving me to find my own way,

In the darkness must I now grieve.......

-Aravind K

10.07.2011

Memories

Memories...

Everyone's life is composed of moments good and bad,

And times of pain & sorrow;

Still, hope and joy gush forth at times,

Making people rejoice like there's no 'morrow.

Countless events add up during one's life,

All vivid; a multicoloured hue;

Some moments of happiness; some moments of strife,

All weaving seamlessly, making our lives true!

For some, memories might not mean much,

Their lives, bitterly, has come to pass.

For others, this isn't true, their way is such,

Golden memories are a wealth they have amassed.

Some memories hit us, like raindrops against a window pane,

Memories always remain with us, nothing can take them away,

Some beautiful ones we reminisce, time and again;

They come easily to us when we need them most, they're just a thought away!

The first day in college, the first time on a bike,

The pranks and the laughs & all the mischievous fun;

All the good memories with near and dear ones alike,

Such moments in life, they will never be undone!

Of the falls and the injuries and all the pain that comes along,

Everyone has their share of memories both good and bad,

These are inevitable; part of life's lessons to make one strong,

They make life worth living; be it however sad!

For in one's life, memories are the only door to the future,

And they are the windows to the past,

Some memories are hazy; they quickly disappear;

While other beautiful memories will, for ever, last!

Memories re-unite us with forgotten places and things,

They bring smiles & laughter; happiness & joy;

Words cannot express the joy which a happy memory brings,

They bring satisfaction to our hearts like a baby receiving its first toy!

So we must always be good and do good to all around us,

Then life will pass smoothly, like a sweet song,

Golden memories must we create and spread everywhere,

For Happy & Fond Memories are all that we'll take along!

- Aravind K.

07.07.2011